It’s cool for mom to play, but when dad gets in something BIG happens! Dads bring an energy that is absolutely contagious! Part of the reason, is because it is so unusual for dads to be engaged in intimately emotional interactions. For men, in general, that’s breaking a man code.
Why? Because manhood is absolutely complicated! Men struggle with the very thing that makes them men in the first place – masculinity. What do I mean by that? Men always question their manhood. They are always measuring their manhood and they are always checking to make sure they are coming across as – a man. In essence manhood is very difficult to manage because it comes with an intense consciousness that is distinctly tied to how others perceive them. They don’t want to ever make the mistake of not being “a man”.
Because of this, they are always needing validation. They are always seeking the next greatest stroke of their own ego. They are always testing their relationships to make sure that the people that love them are more into them then they are to those people. This gives them safety, because ultimately men don’t like to lose and always have to be a step ahead of others.
That’s what makes real love so hard for them. They are better at loyalty than they are love and they would rather get respect than love at any costs.
All of this makes them very vulnerable and that vulnerability puts them in situations that ultimately make them angry. So they get really good at showing anger, but really bad at showing what’s underneath the anger – vulnerability – fear that contradicts ‘manhood’. Ultimately, they don’t connect well with the people that love them the most. They dance around intimacy and settle for giving the women in their life their way to avoid vulnerable expressions of how they really feel.
And guess what? Women settle for it! Not only do they settle for it – they often take advantage of it. And when a man feels like he’s being taken advantage of he knows it’s the worst feeling in the world. For men – not loving me – is far better than taking advantage of my love for you. They have these very sensitive little signals they get that sends the message ‘that someone is taking you for granted” to them and throws everything off for them. To be honest it’s probably worse than a menstrual cycle – or close. It’s really bad!
Women sometimes feel men don’t have emotions, but men have emotions that are so explosively full that women could probably not handle them. The only real medicine for them is being “appreciated” by a woman they love. The more he is appreciated the more he heals from his own ‘self’. The more he is ‘appreciated’ – the more he’ll want to live and give you the life you want so bad.
Appreciating a man is one of the major lessons most women were never taught. They know how to do everything else, but what is most important. That thing that keeps him INTO YOU and everything about you! Stop criticizing him and start appreciating him and watch how ENGAGED he gets!
To learn more order “Getting INSIDE Your Man: A Woman’s Guide To Understanding The Man She Loves“