How Could You Hate Me After All This?

Let’s think this thing through… What have I done to you, other than – loved you. What have I done to threaten you, other than – reach out to help you. Is it my hand that scared you, if so I’m sorry? I was only raising it because I had a few questions. I wanted to know a few things. A few things I didn’t understand.

Why do you hate me or how do you not know how much you hate me? Did someone teach you to hate me? Did someone tell you I was dirty or evil? Did that someone also tell you how hard I’ve worked at making myself clean for you. How I’ve tried to be all you’ve wanted me to be. How I’ve suffered inside because of all I’ve given to you. I’ve always wanted to tell you that they’ve taught you the wrong things, but maybe both you and I believed what they taught. We may both be guilty for that.

Listen, it’s been hard for me to love you because the more I desire to be ‘me’, the more you desire for me to be ‘you’. I really don’t mean to scare you or upset you. I am only trying to be as FREE as you are. As I think about it, I was never trying to be you. I was actually trying to be what I thought you were – FREE. There was something attractive about it. It touched me deep inside myself. It inspired breath in me. There’s just something simply amazing about it – FREEDOM.

As I think about it, I’m not sure you have it either because if you did – you would die for me to have it with you. Maybe what you have is an illusion of what it could be – a feeling of it’s subliminal empowerment. Hmm, as I think about it, it was never really you I wanted to be, it was what I thought you had that I wanted the most – FREEDOM. But I don’t think you have it and I don’t think you know you don’t have it.

You are just as much ‘un-free’ as I am – thinking this complex is because of the color God painted our faces, when it is more about what you thought you had and I thought I wanted – FREEDOM. We are both so far from it and reaching in the wrong direction. Your ‘Freedom Distribution Button’ is broken and you can’t even distribute it to your own children because it never distributed FREEDOM in the first place.

Freedom is never Free, it has to be fought for and anyone that really gets it – fought for it! Freedom is the blanket for which Justice covers itself. It is not the substance of what we both need, but is rather what we must touch to uncover what we both need. I have learned a few fighting moves along the way that I think you can appreciate.

I have watched you in your cage. I have felt sorry for you for being intimidated and scared of me. I have cried for you and hoped that you would be made FREE. As I fought for me, I was also fighting for you and now what I want the most is for us to fight together to both get what we both really want. It is a human thing that we desire the most and if you had ever experienced it for real – you would want it for everyone.

So, here’s my hand again. Oh, excuse the Fist – we may need it to fight through some of this – Together


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