When You Hurt Someone You Say You Love

It is hard to love someone after they’ve hurt you, betrayed you, lied to you or taken your love and shared it with someone else. It’s not only hard, it’s painful! But some people, some how, love hard enough to go through the pain it causes. For reasons that many people often never understand, they try to make their relationship work. And if that’s you – keep reading…

They stay because they believe in the person that hurt them. There’s a level of hope they have in the person and the future they can have together. They see what the future can be if the person could just come to realize how special the relationship is. They see something that the person doesn’t see and unfortunately, may never see. So they compromise their own reality to have a dream with a person that only lives a dream, but is far from what is really going on.

Life is about what you want, not just what you need! You may need someone in your life to share your life with – it’s just makes sense – but you may be by yourself because of the type of person you want.  And that’s OK! Staying in a relationship just for the sake of claiming a relationship is nothing. It has no value, even if you get a few superficial gifts.

This is the deal. People have to learn to make their relationships work and that means taking responsibility for what you’ve done to damage the relationship in the first place. If you’ve hurt your partner in the relationship. Don’t expect them to recover too quickly! Forgiving you is a process and if you keep acting like nothing happened – you don’t deserve them.

Let me explain. It is one thing to be hurt by someone you know; it is another to be hurt by someone you love. The cuts are different. The wounds bleed differently. You need to realize that! Emotional cuts, especially by someone you love, take a long time to heal. If you don’t want them bringing up the past or you get upset because you feel they should have let it go, then you don’t really care about them.  How could you emotionally cut somebody you say you love; put a bandage on it; and expect that it’s done? No cut heals like that!

So let me tell you how this works. You have to realize that bandages need to be changed. That means you’ll have to go back to it! Touch it! Care for it! And place a new bandage over it. This has to be done as often as the person you hurt needs it and depending on what you did to cause their pain; you may even need more help.

That’s how People that really love you handle you when they’ve hurt you. It’s natural. They understand it. And then there are those I have to tell this to. And if that’s you, you need to get your life together and stop taking life for granted – taking advantage of people that other people are praying to have.

If you’re serious about how much you say you love them, then take care of them in this crisis you’ve caused them. Something might get fixed in you as you fix what you broke in them.

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Learn more about this in “Unbreaking The Heart”. Learn the 5 stages to forgiveness and what happens in each stage so you can stop trying to evade the problems you’ve caused and finally start the healing process. 

It’s a process and if you don’t want to get in it – you don’t really love them.

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5 thoughts on “When You Hurt Someone You Say You Love”

  1. Married the same person twice to find myself in the same situation. I’ve been hurt so much that I have become numb. Currently separated and headed for divorce again. It was as if we picked up where we left off form the first time. So many promises broken and I it still hurts as if it were the first time. I have no regret for trying again. I loved him then and will always love him, but I have to love myself too and remove myself from the non changing cycle.

  2. Love GOD and put HIM first in your life. Then love yourself, respect yourself and let love no man enough to allow him to disrespect you. Tell yourself you are a good quality woman, ask GOD for the man you want, seek GOD and let HIM lead you. This road could be long and loney, I’m here myself. But GOD has been my strength and my help and I have faith that HE will be here for me until and even after HE sends me my Boaz.

  3. I was in a relationship for 7 yrs with a man I thought loved me. I gave him my heart and he cheated on me with his ex several years ago, the pain was unbearable!! Fast forward to 2016 and I have yet to begin to forgive him for what he did because he wont allow me to heal (talk about it). I don’t believe I will ever forgive him because he knows I went through this before and still he did the same exact thing. I’ve finally reached a plateau in my life where I know that leaving this relationship was the best thing to do for my spiritual and mental well-being. I dont trust him and probably never will again. He constantly wants to be with me, but I am not in love with him anymore and have expressed this as politely as I could. I think he really needs to talk to you because he doesn’t hear me when I speak. What do I do at this juncture?

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