Sometimes I ask myself, “Why do people get married?” I mean, is it just some little cute thing that looks flattering to the public or does it have real meaning? What is it? Why is it? And why does it feel so fake to so many?
I mean, think about it. Most people want it until they have it and people that have it don’t want really want it. Too many people continue to live single while they’re married, as though marriage is just something ‘cute’ to say you have.
Well, statistics show that the psychological, emotional and financial effects of divorce on families and children is both extensive and traumatizing. Which brings me to my first point.
#1 – There must be something deeply human about marriage…
Something that goes beyond the ring and the bling of the ceremony. Something psychological that impacts the brain. Something emotional that impacts the heart. And something sociological that impacts the world around you.
Marriage is deeply human! Extraordinarily alive! Way beyond dating, hanging out, or casually living together, something happens to a person when they get married! Marriage is powerful and perplexes love in ways nothing else can. You learn new things when you’re married because there is something so delicately human about marriage that you’re repeatedly realizing. To hold a hand; to look into the eyes your spouse and both worry and dream of making your way through life together. One accord. One breath. One life.
#2 – There must be something spiritual about marriage…
Something that reaches the soul. Something that joins you together like nothing you’ve ever experienced. It’s not just love – it’s more than love. We don’t actually have a word to express it beyond the word love, but we know it’s more than that. It surpasses our understanding and our reasoning. Children are born, houses are built, careers are accomplished, arguments are had, trials are faced, love fades, lust creeps in, conscious is seared, tears fall, hearts break, and there is something there that just holds things together. It makes leaving hard! It’s a connection that goes beyond human reasoning.
Marriage has something to do with the soul! It interacts in covenant and promises that are beyond human capabilities. It binds and spiritually ties people and things together. Experiences become glued until death… so, so painful to pull apart.
I think marriage needs to be respected. Not only the people that are married, but the institution of marriage. It needs to be honored, rather than just cascaded across the red carpet of ‘sexy’ and broadcasts as something so casual. Marriage will never take us serious until we take it serious!
Most people work hard at their careers. I’ve heard them talk about the long hours; the money they had to invest; the time they had to put in and the pain they had to endure to get where they are. But if you check their marriage, you don’t find long hours; invested money and endurance. You find quitting; laziness; silliness and nonsense.
Your marriage may be in trouble simply because you don’t respect the institution of it.
Because you haven’t realized what it really is. You haven’t honored it the way you should. You may have thought it was all about people and things, but now you’re learning that it’s so much more.
If you want to survive, you have to let it teach you how to love, because nothing teaches love like marriage does.