Suicide is the result of an internal pain so deep that the person experiencing it often has difficulty expressing how painful it is. It’s a pain so secret that most people around it’s victim often miss its warning signs. A combination of biological, sociological and psychological interactions influences its violent activity. Here’s a glimpse of how it works and how it can be recognized and prevented.
HOW IT WORKS
In general, there are a few things that must be in place for a person to commit suicide. The first is an intense feeling of hopelessness. Not the ordinary ideal of hopelessness, but rather the violent, dark and abusive tendencies of despair. Despair that implies you will ‘never get better’, ‘things will never change’ or ‘things are too bad to face’.
The second, and probably the most important is the thought that ‘no one understands’ how you feel. If suicide had a trigger button – this is it! Depressive episodes coupled with the intense emotional and psychological impression that no one understands how you feel are the ingredients to actions leading to suicide.
This is because belonging is a human necessity. Isolation, withdrawal and seclusion all oppose the fundamental essence of human existence. People in general, more than anything, not only want to be connected, but more deeply, want to be understood.
The victims of suicide’s violently deceitful nature not only feel that no one ‘gets them’, but they may also develop this incredibly distorted and grandiose idea that ‘no one can’, eliminating the effort and possibility that anyone ever will. This dynamic gets incredibility complicated and imposes systemic pressures both on the victim of suicide and their family and loved ones.
WHAT TO DO
There are some basic things that can help us identify the signs of suicide and informative instructions that help us prevent it. They can be found at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. I would like to add as a reflection of my work with many clients who have at least thought about suicide in their life time, that you practice the following principal.
Don’t just connect! Seek to understand people. Be patient with their perspectives. Lean into their lives and don’t judge them. Build relationships that give people the leverage to be themselves and to find their fit. Help people belong. Help them find their space. In doing so, you may also find your own.
For immediate help in the U.S., 24/7: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK. Outside of the U.S., visit the International Resources page for suicide hotlines in your country.