Every relationship needs ‘Positive Vibes’ and the only way to get them is to create them. Think about this. Just as much as you don’t want to feel bad in your relationship, neither does your partner. There are enough challenges in life that cause people to feel bad. Opportunities to feel ‘bad’ are overwhelmingly available. That’s why you must create ‘feel good’ opportunities for each other. When people feel good, they feel safe and when they feel safe, they are vulnerable – giving more of themselves without reserve, which helps to strengthen the relationship.
So, ask yourself this question. How do I make my partner feel? You can gain a lot of insight into yourself with this one question, and you can change the entire dynamics of your relationship if you’re able to ‘see yourself’.
I want to give you the (3 – T’s) to creating positive vibes in your relationship and help you feel better about yourself in the relationship. Be sure to share these with your partner.
T #1: The Way You THINK ABOUT THEM
The first ‘T’ is THINK. Throughout your day, you will have the opportunity to think about a lot of things. You should KEEP your partner on that list- intentionally! When it comes to thinking, your brain is naturally wired to focus on things that seem to be a threat or negative. It does that to alarm and protect you. This means that it is easier for your brain to think about negative things about your partner than positive things. So, you must flip that little switch in your brain and focus on thinking good thoughts and creating good vibes within yourself about your partner. Focus on their good attributes, their strengths and what you love about them. Train your brain to think positive thoughts. The better you think about them – the better you talk to them.
T #2: The Way You TALK TO THEM
That brings us to the second ‘T’, which is how you TALK to them. You should really get accustomed in practice using positive reinforcement and positive words towards your partner. Phrases like good morning; I love you; You’re beautiful; You’re wonderful; Amazing; Incredible; You’re Great; I appreciate you; You’re the best; I’m so proud of you; Can I do anything for you? Can I help you?
So many couples stop using simple words of affirmation with each other without realizing how important these words are in creating ‘positive vibes’ in their relationship. The words you use when communicating with your partner are like ‘dressing’ them. What you say to them has lasting affects – they must wear it. So, dress them well. Use words that strengthen and rebuild rather than words that destroy. Learn to agree with them and let them influence you.
T #3: The Way You TREAT THEM
Finally, for ‘T’ number 3. I promise, if you can get the ‘T-1’ and ‘T-2’ down, ‘T-3’ will come very easily and naturally. The rule of thumb for how you treat each other, is – ‘Be Easy’ on each other. Give each other the benefit of the doubt, especially when you know you are both really trying to be your best – together. Treating them well has to do with you primarily seeking to understand them, rather than making them understand you. For men, you must love her and allow leveraged influence. For women, you must respect him and demonstrate appreciation for his presence in your life.
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