The awkward thing about divorce is not just ending the conflict. It’s the complexity of the grief that comes along with it, that is so difficult to overcome. There are several reasons why this grief is so complicated. One obviously, is because of the loss. The grief of divorce can feel like the death of a loved one, but often complicated by the continued life and engagement of the same. It is hard to loss someone you love, but it is also difficult not being with someone you left. It’s almost like your brain gets confused – “It feels like death, but their still here…” As troubling as recovery can be for divorced couples, this does not stop them from moving forward with the process.
There is, however, one dynamic that married couples are paying more attention to that has been much more influential in their decision to stay together, than just their own anger and disappointments. That one thing is – the kids.
Most children and adolescents have a very difficult time recovering from their parent’s decision to divorce. Although all children are different, most psychological research indicates some very common responses of children and adolescents to divorce. Here are some of the reasons parents are reconsidering, or at least giving every effort to get help for their marriage.
Children of divorced parents often: